Harbor Light – 2016/02

“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” What if, at this present time, you still don’t believe in the “powerless” concept, or you can’t as yet accept the fatality of your illness? Yes, you can still feel and see the repercussions of your latest debauch, and you’re basically aware of your present location and what your drinking has cost you, but really…fatal, powerless, and insane? Those are harsh words. What if you’re willing to give the twelve steps a shot, but you’re not yet totally convinced that you’re an alcoholic of “our type?” On page 31 of the Big Book, Bill suggests that if you’re not sure you’re one of us, go at it again try some controlled drinking, and see how that works out for you. “Well, screw that,” you might reply. “I may not fully believe in the depth of my problem, but I’m not an idiot, and I’m definitely not willing, at this time, to go another round with what just thoroughly kicked my ass.” Many of us thought the same, myself included. I might not have been completely clear on what was going down the gravity of my illness, but I wasn’t about to step in the ring and take another beating.